THE SUFFERING (Coheed And Cambria)

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THE SUFFERING (Coheed And Cambria)

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BLOOD RED SUMMER (Coheed And Cambria)

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WELCOME HOME (Coheed And Cambria)

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journal entry #91

hey nigras wassup? i have not been here for a while. and i dont miss it. but i need to use this as a communication and reflection tool. right now i am not doing so hot. all of the work that i have done on myself is coming undone. either i really did not do it for myself or i cannnot do it without multiple people backing me up. i do no tknow wha tit is, but i think i need to work alot harder than i thought on this problem. i have to rewire myself from the bottom if i want to do it. it is actually about wanting to do it, and not wanting to fuck off. cause that is all tha ti want to do is fuck off and play my guitar, adn learn about my guitar. i want to do that research project, but everything else has gotten in the way of me doing it. but, as oyu can clearly see, i havent really been trying on my work and i thin it is about time that i do that and i try to organize my mind. right at this moment, what i am trying to do is set up me da yin half-hour segments, and do it that way. ast 5:00 i am calling greg and steve and seeing wha tthey are doing. that is in eleven minutes and i hope my dad doesnt walk in and is drunk. he just walked in and isnt. so i am glad. and i am still doing my work. anmd it is time to go so ill see you bitch, bye whitey.

journal entry #90

hey guys, htis is my first journal entry for a long, long time. and quite frankly, i still do not want to do them.right now i do not have a choice though. if i want to do as good as i can, then iu need to do these each and every day. i really do. and i think it is an effective enough tool right now, so i should keep on using it and making it better. dude, i feel like an asshole. my mother makes me feel like i have nothing to worr about, and that makes me worry in itself. my mom and my dad and are polar opposites. my dad is very goal-oriented and my mother is not at all. she is very free spirited and lets a higher spirit take control of most of her life. she believes if something happens that wasnt expected, then it was meant to be. she also... nvm i dont wnat to get into it.

journal entry #89

hey guys, its me. anothe rjournal entry. i think i can do it all, i think i really can if i try hard enough. i know i want it, and i think that is going to be the most powerful thing driving me to get all of myt work done. you know, i really wan tthat guitar. but the one i wanted was a right handed one. i forgot about that when i was looking at it. i have really high hopes for doing this. i think i can do it, i really do. i feel like it i salready done, or as good as done. i need to learn how to do my work on a daily basis. i am really bored now and i need to fill space so i like eggrolls. i love egrolls. and not to mentyion i want an electric guitar. i cannot wait, hopefully it will look cool. i realyl hope it does. i honestly do.

journal entry #86 post exhibition

i feel like shit. i really do. i dont feel like i had accomplished anyhting. the main reason why my exhibition sucked so goddamn much is that i didnt prepare. if i had prepared, it would gone so much better. i feel like a fucking clown. i did this to myself. i put the nails on my own cross. i friggin was so stupid. but good has come of this. now htt i have failed my exhibition horribly, i can start new and i know why i need to do my work. i need to take it a day at a time. i can do it, but i need to learn how to set a goal and acheive it, liek rigfht now i woke up this morning and said, i am going to get my dear charly letter done and my post exhibition journal entry done, and i did, so i have found something that might work for me.

journal entry #85

i am going to continue the poem from journal entry number 79
his poision, his killer is fame,
he used to be the best man that could be,
he used to be what every parent wanted to see,
what every man secretly wanted to be,
but now he has become more than he could handle,
him and his co-manager Randall,
all the fame and all the moneyt went to his head,
now every single man wanted him dead,
he is oppressing his nation,
he is oppresssing his nation,
but back to the story at hand,
silas thought This is just grand,
he feels the invisible figures silently floating through the room,
he starts to feel his impending doom,
he woud give up if not for his wife,
keylinda silently grips her knife,
she forcefully throws the knife into the air,
the common untrained would think nothing was there,
but she knew better, shes been through this before,
suddenly the knife sticks into thin air,
a loud thud on the floor, invisible steps run to the door,
but he knew they were going to be there,
he had already set a trap, they were in deep crap,
he flips a switch and depresses the button,
chunks of humand flesh fly all over the place,
they knew that this was nothing,
just a few scouts, in front of the race,
they had to leave now, before they found out,
that they had been here.

journal entry #84

hey guys i am going to write another part to the story, i know some parts have been weak so ill try to do better
"im on vacation" i said to myself,
as i put tomato sauce back on the shelf,
nothing is going to happen to me like on that ship,
where i have seen tendons and flesh rip,
i can never take back what was seen or what was done,
and now it is time to have some fun,
forget betrayaland the fucked up shit,
try to run, try to run, try to run, try to run,
grab your gun, your gun,
try to fight them off goddamit,
theres no choice you have to handle it,
man your battlestations,
enemies in filing in striations,
they keep on fucking coming,
one of the motherfuckers leapt on me while i was running,
ganshing teeth, no skin,
completely unnatural, no longer my kin,
smooth muscle covered in a slimy membrane,
alll the commotion and killing its insane,
why , ohwhy, did i have to be on this ship,
why this one, why this,
why did he have to make a msitake,
sometime i wish i could wake,
and never remember what happened,
that i never got wrapped in,
things that i shouldnt have, things i shouldnt have,
soem days i wanna die,
my name is Mekhai.

journal entry #83

hey, i feel like shit. you know what, i hav ereally low self esteem right now. i really do. i feel liek i cant do any better than how i am doing now. i feel like i am ioncapable of being good, as in getting all of my wok done and all of that. i think that i am going to tell my dad, but i dont think that he will care much. i think that he will think that i am using it as an excuse. i still feel like shit. i want to cry but i dont feel worth it. i feel like shit. i feel like i dont matter much, that i ma just worthless. i havent felt this for a long time, and i have never felt it for this long, and i dont know why. i feel like what i have to do is not going to make a diffrence and i feel like i cant do it because i suck. i feel like i really do. i feel like shit. i dont care if i am lie,k this or np teither.